Year of More, The Beginning

After deciding to participate in a year of less, (less spending, less collecting junk, less materials) I also decided to add something into my year. Each month I’ll have a focus that I believe might improve my life in some way. Maybe it’s for my physical health, or my mental health, maybe it’s a means…

Who Am I Without Depression?

A few months ago I decided it was time to try medication. After months of fighting to get out of bed and pushing through each day only looking forward to sleep, I thought these very important words: I can’t live like this forever.  Truth is it didn’t even feel like living. It felt like hell,…

Coming out of depression

Winter got me. I stayed in my house and at the same time in my depression. There have been short seasons throughout the months where I felt happy and completely free of the beast that lives in my brain. Recently, I feel free again. A lot has changed lately. I’m single, summer vacation was on…

Do I need AA?

This is a question that has been swirling through my head for about a year now? Am I an alcoholic? I’m not extreme, like my father who has had a standing battle with addiction for decades. I don’t even drink as often as my mother, who often coins herself as a “functioning alcoholic” usually accompanied…

Disclosing my bipolar disorder at work

I keep going back and forth, I have for weeks now. Do I tell my boss I have bipolar 2 disorder or do I not? Is it important to let her know up until mid school year I was sure that I would not renew my contract at the end of the year? When I’m…

The constant realization – I am a parent

Are you ever reminded that you’re a parent Some moments I find my myself thinking “You’re a mom, like a real mom.”  Today my daughter made jokes and played pranks. My daughter got undressed and put on red nightgown Disney princess on the front. Tag in the back. I stop, shocked. When did I stop…

4AM

It’s almost 4 AM and I cannot sleep. I feel like I’ve been up the whole night, but I’m really not sure. That has to be impossible right? But I feel like I’ve just been laying here from 10-3. My brain just won’t seem to shut down tonight. However I feel calm – and that’s…

My need for speed, racing from depression

*Moved from my old blog* Three days ago I decided it was time to stop yet another prescription drug. A painful rash on my stomach brought me to this decision. My heart shattered, because everything I’ve tried thus far has led to harmful and potentially dangerous side effects. Of course my first thought was “I’m…

Bipolar 2

*Moved from my original blog* It was the summer of 2016 when I finally decided to take charge of my physical and mental health. I began seeing a therapist and a psychiatrist. I was diagnosed with bipolar II disorder. Quite frankly this didn’t come as a shock to me, as I already knew a bit about…