Growth – Love Yourself

*Moved from my previous blog – 2018*   It took me a long time to come to terms with my sexuality, my mental illness, and just my character overall. But this picture represent growth in all the areas describes above. At the women’s march in 2017 I felt empowered. I felt like I understood my…

True to You

*Moved from my previous blog – 2018*   Living life reserved. What does it look like? Well, reservation looks like questioning your heart because you’re afraid of what others might say. It’s not raising your hand in class even though you knew the answer. It’s not answering the phone when a friend or loved one…

#MeToo

*Moved from my previous blog – 2018*   In light of the viral #MeToo movement, Rachel Brathen dedicated her weekly podcast to her own #MeToo stories. #MeToo It baffles me how much I could relate to these stories. Moments when us women are uncomfortable by a man and we freeze. We go through the steps…

What Happened? Depression Happened.

*Moved from my previous blog – 2018* We are happy, enjoying our day. Joking and playing and laughing. I have a heavy conversation with a friend and it weighs on me afterwards. I set it aside, push it down, save those feelings for another day. We go shopping, you make a joke that somehow cuts…

100 Reasons to Live

*Moved from my previous blog – 2018* My most recent spurt of depression I felt a familiar pain, and a familiar voice inside my head that said “I wonder what would happen if I took this whole bottle of pills. If I did it, everyone in my life would be okay. They might be better…

Balancing Extremes

*Moved from my previous blog – 2018* I forgot to take my medication last night. I woke up and thought “it’ll be fine, it’s just one pill.” I spent the morning hanging out with my kid, enjoying coffee, driving to daycare, and day dreaming about marrying my girlfriend. We’ve only been together for a year…

Missing Me

*Moved from my old blog – 2018*   Three words “I miss you” As I can feel your body heat next to mine I hear them said with such desperation You mean them entirely But here I am, physically close. “I miss you” I know exactly what you mean You miss me The version of…

Hypomania or Happiness

*Moved from my old blog – 2018*   I’m back on medication, and the difference was noticeable from day one. I was already in a depressive state, and somehow I was able to rise out of it. Day one: Getting out of bed was easy. The day didn’t seem to dark. And I found things…

My need for speed, racing from depression

*Moved from my old blog* Three days ago I decided it was time to stop yet another prescription drug. A painful rash on my stomach brought me to this decision. My heart shattered, because everything I’ve tried thus far has led to harmful and potentially dangerous side effects. Of course my first thought was “I’m…

Mom, Daughter and Anxiety – A trio

*Moved from my old blog* I’m a mother to a super awesome three year old. I always expected parenting to be hard. Anxiety makes it so much harder though. I was watching Rogue One the other day with my family and it begins with a small girl being left all alone to fend for herself….