How silly of me.

I felt good, strong and happy. So I thought, if there’s anytime I can go off my medication it’s now. I had to make a med switch anyway due to side effects. So right now I’m taking half of my my old meds to make the switch. And I feel it.

I’m feeling irritable. I’m exhausted, from life. Because life is too hard. I’m sad by the end of the night. The intrusive thoughts are coming back. I don’t want to do my yoga teacher training or a PhD program. I don’t want to do anything. I feel defeated. I feel defeated because I’m down. I also feel defeated because I need medication to feel “normal” and I’ll probably need them forever.

I don’t want to take meds. But I don’t want to live like this again. I remember feeling like this every day. It’s hard. It was hard then and it’s hard now.

But as always. I will be okay.