I was at my girlfriends house while she was out of town and I saw her old phone on the counter. Immediately my conditioned up brain says: omg I could look through her old phone. Which was quickly interrupted by this thought: wow, that was a really bad habit. I would NEVER go through my girlfriends phone, or any of her stuff for that matter. There’s no need to. It’s completely unnecessary. A break of trust. An infringement on her privacy.

It makes me sick to think I used to be that person. I always looked through my partners phones. I read my last girlfriends journal. Like, who does that shit? Me apparently.

But like I said in my previous post, I’m new.

It feels so good to be with someone who doesn’t make me second guess their loyalty or commitment to me. Every other relationship I had rightfully felt doubt. Somethings always came out of my snooping. Another girl, a crush, an ex. I knew something was wrong, and it made me ugly. It made my relationships ugly.

Now I’m in a relationship that makes me beautiful. Because it’s built on honesty, trust, and love. I just feel so special to have found the person I know I want to spend the rest of my life with. And even more special to know the feeling is mutual. I want to be everything she needs, at every second I can. I never want to stop trying.

So I laid back down on her couch, comfortable in my home, and safe in my relationship.