Am I hypomanic? One of my favorite questions. I mean I did just buy a new car. I can’t sleep. I want to drink and smoke. I’m making a ton of plans. I’m talking quicker, and more frequently.
Fuck. Once I add up all the signs I get into this head space where I’m constantly asking myself, am I hypomanic? Or did I just make a good purchase? Am I just happy? Do I just feel confident?
It’s kind of hard never knowing where you’re at. That’s the struggle with bipolar disorder of any kind. The constant confusion. Where am I right now? Is this me, or an unstable version of myself? Who am I actually?
Tonight I don’t know the answer, but the questions are present. I’ll figure it out eventually, I always do. It’s just a journey. One filled with love and loss. Kindness and pain. Fun and discontentment. Adventure and doubt. Beautiful and ugly. It’s life at it’s absolute finest.