Loving life

“I don’t deserve you. I’ll never hurt you. If I ever lost you, I’d die.”

Lyrics to a song that made me think of my best friend back in January 2020. My best friend, who I’ve felt so strongly for the last few months. But I buried it so deep that even at times I denied my feelings. Even though I had hidden blog posts and journal entries to prove it. Songs that reminded me of you, and a secret spotify playlist that shouted out – I STILL HAVE FEELINGS FOR YOU. I fell for my best friend. And just recently it blossomed into something even more beautiful than our friendship.

This past weekend we went camping together. And it was the most beautiful weekend of my life. We disclosed our feelings for each other, finally. My heart is so full.

On the drive up she said “I added this song to your playlist. Because of the night we saw the moon.” It sung lyrics about still being in love and I thought Maybe she feels the same way I do.

She did. I did. We held hands and snuggled up close under the stars. We saw waterfalls and other beautiful sights. But none of them compare to the beauty of what we were feeling. What was coming alive that weekend. Something bigger than the both of us, and something that I think will only grow from here. A pure and honest love.

We danced around the fire. We read our secret blog posts to each other. We kissed. We hugged. We smiled, oh how we smiled constantly. I continue to smile constantly. When will the smiling stop!?

I’ve spent months loving this girl from a deep and secret place, to now laying on her arm – wrapped around her as much as my body will allow. Happy as I possibly can be right now, because what I had tried to manifest just days before came to fruition. The universe knew. I knew. She knew. This was meant to be.

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