I’m sad tonight. I think it’s a combination of things. The fact that I’m in the middle of drama with my co-parent (which deeply affects me), the feeling of summer being cancelled, or forgetting my meds today (probably the biggest cause). I just want to sleep, as much as I can possibly sleep. But at the same time, I DON’T want to sleep. I want to stay up, get drunk, eat food, and self sabatoge.
But I won’t. Instead I’ll light the candle my girlfriend gave me, I’ll listen to music, I’ll write. I’ll taste just one glass of wine and watch one shitty show. I’ll keep breathing.
Even when everything else in my life is going so well, I can still feel sad. This is the life of a human I guess.
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“Even when everything else in my life is going so well, I can still feel sad.”
I do feel this too, to be honest, and I’m coming to realise that it’s not the absence of pain I’m seeking, but to be able to be the best person I can be, DESPITE it. Thanks for sharing this vulnerable piece. Wish you all the best!
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