Impatiently waiting

My dad messaged me. “I hope you don’t shut me out too long. I’ll be impatiently waiting.” I’m sorry but fuck you. I know this is you reaching out, but I’m not shutting you out. I’m just not prioritizing you. Why the hell should I? Because you’re bored? Because you’re sick? When was I ever your priority. The answer is never, I never was.

I am sick and tired of you getting upset when I am not as present as you want me to be. Guess what, you made it this way. It’s not my fault I’m uncomfortable around you. It’s not my fault I don’t trust you. It’s not my fault that a relationship with you is HARD for me. And I will not make it my number one priority to do the work to overcome these things, because I have other shit to worry about.

I’m angry at your presence in my life. You’re trying, in your own way. But I know it’s always temporary. I don’t want temporary anymore. I don’t want you in my life.

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