We’re in weird times, corona virus and all. My new girlfriend is a paramedic, so let’s just say she’s pretty busy. We’ve barely connected the last couple of days, and it feels more than busy. The last time we hung out our differences really came to light. So now, of course, I’m worried she’s second guessing everything about me. We don’t really even know each other. It’s been almost four months since we met, which is nothing in the grand scheme of things.

So now I am seeking validation in places where I don’t belong. And I know this, but I won’t stop. I find myself wanting to reach out to my ex, but somehow I’ve had enough control to stop myself from moving forward with that terrible idea.

This is why I don’t like relationships. The way I get in my head in a relationship is like no other, and I hate it.

Am I ready for this? I really don’t know.