I’m flipping through my journal, and this is one I want to publish. Because it’s important and life saving to me, and maybe it is to someone else out there too.

Yesterday in therapy there were the usual questions… “Any suicidal thoughts?” This time I had to be honest. I told her I thought about my access to pills, and how when that thought comes up I think of Liv and shut it down. 

Recently though, I really truly thought Olivia might be better w/out me.

If you ever think that ^ read this…

Leaving your daughter would cause her so much pain. Immeasurable. She loves and needs you. No one can take the place she has in her heart for you. And you’d hate to miss her growing up. Please, always show up for her. I promise she needs, loves, and wants you.